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Look around less, imagine more.. Abraham Hicks

What is the "Key" or "Secret" to unlocking the Law of Attraction?

In a nutshell, the "Key" or "Secret" to unlocking the Law of Attraction is to be in alignment with your desires.

That is easier said then done because it requires you to be in touch with your mind, body, and spirit. I struggled in this area on my journey because although I knew what I wanted to manifest, I struggled with the feelings and thoughts aligning.

The primary reason for this is our programming. It does also come from our past histories in relationships and the various environments we have been surrounded by in our lives.

I have dedicated this entire page to programming, where I go in to some detail about this connection with our mindest and the law of attraction.

What I did learn is during the process of getting my heart (feelings) in alignment with my brain (thoughs) was that having a foundational "good feeling" about ourselves is paramount. After all, if you don't feel good on the inside, you can never get in touch with the "right" feelings needed to attract ANY desires from the Law of Attraction.

I learned that most of us allow everyone else some sort of control of our feelings, self esteem, self confidence, and self empowerment. I have included some great cooking, exercise, and other self improvement ideas all focused on creating that foundational happiness that we need in order to attract and apply the full power of the Law of Attraction.

I found that feeling good about myself by cleaning up my diet, exercising regularly in some form or fashion, treating myself to some nice clothes, a new watch, haircut or whatever, really put my mind in a high vibrational mode and I had (and continue to have) awesome energy.

Things people said about me (or say) no longer have really any impact or influence on me any more because I took that control back. Comments on clothes styles, type of haircut, going to do something "I" enjoyed doing had literally NO affect on me at all.

Hopefully, some of my suggestions on the bottom of this page and ones I list on the " Home " page will help you too.   

Not only changing your programming helps with mastering the law of attraction, knowing the " Creative Process " on how to manifest is another "key" to utilizing your full power of the law of attraction. 

The Secret of Attraction and the Creative Process

The creative process, what is it? how does it work? how does it relate to the Law of Attraction?

All excellent questions!

The creative process is really the backbone to learning how to apply and master the art of the Law of Attraction . You have to really understand it and what it is meant to do. Once you master it, I can almost assuredly say that you will be receiving all of the manifestions you ccan possibly imagine!

One of the most common misperceptions is that many people believe that if they just wish or envision that which they desire it will just show up the next day!

Not true! Even though the envisioning and asking parts are correct, you still have to get into the right mental mindset, get your feelings into alignment with your manifestation (the most important thing by far), and then do this repeatedly until your manifestation comes to you.

I can only advise to be patient, committed and above all else DO NOT limit yourself or your thinking in any way. Lapses of positive thinking, negative vibrations or focusing on what you don't want or don't have yet will only delay attracting what you really are trying to attract. You must practice the creative process daily. 

The Creative Process in a nutshell:

First find a quite place in your home that you can access anytime. I converted an extra bedroom into my "quiet place". Place things that important to you and that bring you happiness, serenity, and peace. Pictures, candles, special lighting, whatever brings you those good feelings and energyIt is important that this designated place be accessible anytime during the day and will be free of distractions and interruptions.

Next you will want to dedicate about 15 to 20 minutes each day. Mind you it does not have to be the exact time each day but it is vital that the time is dedicated at some point during the day.

Next you will get in a comfortable position (sitting or laying down). This is not a meditative state you will be in. You will be in a state of really utilizing focus on what you are really wanting (the thing you are manifesting). You will be placing an intense amount of focus on this "thing". The key is that th focus has to have such clarity that your "Inner Being" also know as your "Higher Self" responds with some kind of growing emotion. Mine was usually happiness coupled with excitement. (kind of like the feeling you have when you're looking forward to that awesome vacation you have gone on in the past).

The Law of Attraction is always at work. Whether you are in a good mood (or vibration) or a bad one, The law does not differentiate your mood, energy or vibration.

The law will work on aligning you with what you are thinking  about and focusing on every second of every day.

So while in your quiet place picturing that which you desire, bring in life experiences such as going to work, working around the house, interactions with family, friends, children. Focus on the good in all of these areas.

A great conversation with a coworker or significant other, laughing with your children, playing with your pets. Bring that positive energy and good vibrations with you as you picture your desire. Practice this every day and you will find FUN in every day!

Bring things into your quiet place that you would like to have in your life. Examples of a joyful, happy personality, a car you would love to own, maybe a new job or profession you would really enjoy having.

Anything that makes you happy bring to that quiet place with you.

While thinking in your place, you will picture yourself with these things you brought with you (in our example a better personality, new car, new job). This thinking will begin the attraction of those things that were making you happy and are what you desire.

So make sure it is really what you desire and have dreamed of!

This is where our programming really impacts our success or limits us with connecting, applying and mastering the law of attraction.
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Changing your thinking, changes your life...
Our Programming

Our Programming….
What is it? Where does it come from? Can I change it? How?
All excellent questions!
Programming is part of our subconscious minds. It comes from and is the place we store things that we have learned, we were told or what we experienced.
Yes! We can totally change our programming with some strong commitment, work, and perseverance!

Changing our programming positively affects our goals in life, the manifestations of things we desire and utilizing the full power of the law of attraction.

On my journey which began some time ago, it was made apparent to me through my research and reading some great books on the subject of reprogramming your mind, that without aligning your mind (concious mind), your programming (sub-concious mind) and your heart (feelings specifically) NOTHING can get manifested!

I can't over emphasize that getting things we want (manifesting) like relationships, money, health, being great parents comes from our feelings and heart NOT our heads!!

One of the best books I read was The Road Back to Me, By Lisa Romano. The book goes into great detail on how we are programmed and how to change that programming through healing, meditation, repetition and consistency.

Click on the video on this page and hear Lisa discuss re-programming our minds.

Dr. Bruce Lipton is another excellent resource to understand our programming and how it works and affects us. . 

My journey began when my wife (who was working with a life coach) asked me what do I like to do? What am I passionate about? As easy as those two questions seemed to me on the surface, it took me literally three days to come up with an answer!

There were many reasons why it took so long to answer but two primary reasons were that anything I came up with, my heart was not as into them as I was leading myself to believe.

The other reason is because of me being a codependent, most of my life was spent making sure everyone I loved and cared about had what they wanted/needed, they were happy and fulfilled, and I was caretaking them! (sound familiar anyone??)   

I will go into codependence (and narcissism) in later articles, but the bottom line is that I was destined to be a codependent because that is how I was programmed by my parents growing up!

Here is an awesome video discussing reprogramming your mind!

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Our programming is the result of our upbringing as children and is further programmed by our relationships with significant others, loved ones, family, and close friends.

​I was programmed that seafood wasn't very good, "B's" and "C's" on my report card were not good. What I wanted to eat wasn't important, when there was another adult around I was invisible.

I was also programmed that rich people were "snobs" and "lucky" so as a young child thinking about having money equaled something bad.

A key part of reprogramming our minds is to make ourselves feel better. Whether it is, eating better or exercising, ANY changes we notice helps us keep us in a high energy and positive vibration.

I like to break down my fitness routines into 10 - 21 day cycles. This way each time I successfully completed a cycle, the feeling of satisfaction and joy of both finishing the cycle and the health/fitness benefits from it. I had my wife and I try this 21 Day Flat Belly Fix system which worked great. It is basically a "tea" that you take daily during the cycle. Tasted great and my one son lost 20 pounds using this product.
I was programmed that what I wanted was secondary to what was affordable (again a negative connotation relating to money).

Those were just some examples of programming that I (and I am sure many others) experienced growing up.

There were a whole assortment of other programming examples from my two previous relationships as well.

That programming as a child led to becoming a codependent as a young adult and throughout my life until I changed all of that.  

Don't get me wrong, my parents are wonderful and generous people. They just passed on the dysfunctional programming they had been downloaded with!

People get kinda ookie when they hear the word "dysfunctional". According to a study done in 2018, 85% of people in the WORLD have some sort of psychological dysfunction. Codependence, Narcissism and addictions are just examples of that.

The great thing is it is NOT OUR FAULT we were downloaded with this programming! But it IS our fault if we don't change it.

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Programming and Law of Attraction Tips to Change Your Life.

As we have established our programming comes from what we were taught and what we learned throughout our lives. It comes from what we were told (directed) from our parents and other influential people in our lives. It also comes from our experiences (both good and bad) in our lives up until this point. 

So without correcting this thinking or programming, attracting our desires through the law of attraction is virtually impossible.
Most law of attraction desires fall under one of these five categories:

And I am going to add Parenting.

Really, give some thought to why you really have these desires. I believe that people have these desires and never acquire them for two primary reasons. Programming, or the way our brains were downloaded when we were younger (more on this later) and lack of self love (or self esteem which is an off shoot of self love).

I think it is important to understand that you are not defined by your height

You are not defined by your weight

You are not defined by your hair

You are not defined by any of your material possessions

You are not defined by your relationships

Bottom line is you are enough just the way you are! You are energy. All of those other things are what OTHER people categorize you as. You ONLY job is to believe you are enough you don't have to explain or justify your thoughts, feelings or actions. You don't have to prove anything to anybody at anytime.

Here is a great affirmation page that we have taped to our bathroom mirror as a daily reminder of how we are enough!

As an example let's look at the category of health and fitness and how it relates to our programming. If our goal is to lose weight, get to the gym, start a new workout plan, eat better or whatever, is it really OUR intent to do these things? Is it really in OUR heart, or are we comparing or basing the goal out of what others are telling us or doing themselves and tell us we should do the same?

Our programming may have downloaded a long time ago that we should do what others (especially significant others, family and close friends) are suggesting we do. That we feel validated by these people.

Maybe a new fitness routine or diet to lose weight is so that we get noticed or people will compliment us instead of it being truly what WE want. Trust me, those things always made me feel good to hear for a very long time.

Using myself as the perfect example, I was a very thin kid and everyone was telling me I should eat more, lift weights or other things of this nature. So I did. My programming from growing up was to listen and follow directions (especially from adults) because those directions were in my best interest.

So, what did I do? All of those things that people told me I should do! Not what I wanted to do or was interested in doing. And that thinking, and programming was embedded into so many different aspects of my life and for my whole life up until my journey of self discovery, self empowerment and to use the full power of the law of attraction changed all that old thinking.

I also experienced that lack of self love and NEED for attention when I got divorced in 2004. My ego (another aspect of ourselves that I will discuss in great detail in future articles) fed off of other people (particularly women) who complimented me on my build, looks and personality.
Looking back the real reason I was working out was to gain those words and attention!! Again, doing things to gain attention and also attempting to gain their validation which would make ME feel good! Not me making myself feel good. Jacked up, right??

On my journey I have utilized many great resources which I will share with you in this website. If you want to change your life for the better, I have found that you must invest in yourself and many of the bountiful resources out there. Please take advantage of them!

There are so many "guru's" out there who can also help find you find the self love and authentic you. I can recommend some of the best self help books and audios that are out there. One specifically was special to me, which was “The Road Back to Me” by Lisa Romano, because it really started my journey

Our Programming: Facts

It is a scientific fact that our brains are programmed (mainly by our parents) from age birth to 7. After age 7 (or 8 depending on which study you read) any sort of change in your programming comes from repetition and consistency. So many aspects of our lives, how we relate to people, how we see right/wrong, success/failure, our views on virtually every subject comes primarily from our parent’s upbringing of us.

Did you know that a small child (under the age of 7) can be taught multiple languages with ease? Why? Because their brains are still in the programming mode. Think about that! How difficult is learning just one other language seem for us at the stage in our lives. Can be done for sure but with ALOT of repetition and consistency!

Our programming lies in our sub-conscious mind. Did you know that our subconscious mind is 95% of our brain?? Our conscious mind represents only 5%. But it is this 5% that creates all the havoc in our lives! It houses our ego, our limited thinking and almost all of our abilities to name a few things.
An example of how your subconscious mind works with your conscious mind is, have you ever been driving your car in a deep conversation with someone but yet you arrive at your destination and really can't recall the drive?

Your conscious mind was doing the conversing and being in the now while your subconscious (and its programming) were actually operating your car, the speed you were going, the lane you chose to be in, the exit you needed to take etc. How did your subconscious know how to do this? Repetition and consistency!! Cool stuff!!   

So, it is the subconscious mind we have to access in order to change any faulty programming we may have. There are many ways to access this part of your brain (and in my next article I will get into the nitty gritty of that).

One of the best ways is meditation. And before you rush to judgement on this topic, trust me, I initially thought that it was hogwash too! (much like my thinking of chiropractors and manifesting things I wanted).

 I have included a link for some free meditations to use as you start your journey. Click on the banner or the “click here” text to get your free meditation library.

 The BEST and FREE Law of Attraction meditation for you to start YOUR road to manifesting everything you desire!  Click Here

Boy, have I been wrong and missing so much in my life up until now!! I try to mediate twice a day (when I wake up and when I go to sleep). Right before bed is the BEST way to meditate because right before you fall asleep your brain is in "theta" wave mode. Theta waves are where the alpha and beta waves in your brain are working in synchronization.

This theta wave time is when reprogramming your subconscious takes place. It is a faster way to go about reprogramming your brain versus repetition and consistency. Here is one such meditation I used. 

So, if your programming is a bit jacked up (like mine for so many years) there is GREAT NEWS! it is FIXABLE!! Now it will take some time and a huge COMMITMENT from you, but it can be fixed! Yours truly is living proof that it can be done with commitment and perseverance!

How Do I Reprogram My Mind?

Re-programming your mind is not impossible to do. But it does take a massive commitment from you as well as being prepared for anything.

What I mean by anything is that your life (and you) are going to change DRASTICALLY for the better!

BUT, that means you will cease being the person you are today. So the precedence you have set as a parent, spouse, sibling, son/daughter, co-worker, literally every aspect of you will change.

With that (and I experienced this first hand), you will stop acting the way you do (if it's considered enabling, caretaking, selfish, or any other myriad of dysfunctional behaviors.

These behaviors were not your fault to begin with, they were a product of your upbringing and programming (no offense to our parents of course, they did the best they could)
I learned that once you can conquer these old behaviors and thoughts and replace them with new empowering and healthy thoughts, feelings and vibrations you will then be able to really get in touch with the law of attraction and its full power.

There are three general areas to focus on when reprogramming your mind.


Identify and Acknowledge old traumas that you encountered as an infant (if you can remember that far back) child, young adult and even adulthood.

This is a vital first step because these traumas that affected you along the way are the foundation of the way you see things, react to things, think about them, etc..

Lisa Romano has an excellent guided 12 week program that addresses this issue. This is a huge benefit if you do well in a structured program environment.

This part is emotionally exhausing but is the launch pad for the whole reprogamming path. reliving some of these traumas is difficult to say the least. Many of us have buried those deep or forced ourselves to try and forget they ever happened to us.

Unfortunately, doing this does not get rid of those traumas, is simply hides them or we create distractions so we don't have to deal with them. These distractions are the genesis for many addictions that people suffer from.

I worked out like a fiend because that was my distraction. I also threw myself (unhealthy wise mind you) into my relationships. Always placing my partner first, caretaking, rescuing, pampering, all to a point so I would not have any of those lost or lonely feelings I suffered from for as long as I could remember. Both are distraction techniques.

There are some great teaching aids to assist you throught this difficult phase. I did alot of workbooks from the Manifestation Miracle program . I also did twice daily meditations and watched some great Lisa Romano, Bruce Lipton, Wayne Dyer videos on childhood and adult trauma and how to recover from them.

I would like to point out that meditation and manifesting are "married" in the sense that in order to achieve the full power of the law of attraction, meditation is one of the key connection vehicles to get you there.
Remember when I said people were going to be somewhat resistant to the new you? It is during this time (healing and acknowledgement phase) that people’s reactions will be more on the angry side.

This is primarily because they do not know how to interact with the new you. With me, my close family members were not used to me not be reactionary to things I was very reactive to before.

This “new” me left them uneasy due them not knowing how to interpret or perceive the new behaviors or lack of the old ones.
A perfect example is how I used to interact with my kids. They are all in their 20’s but I still found myself telling them what they should do and how they should do things (codependent behaviors).
The “new” me, now just listened and instead of telling the how to do things, when to do them or why, I simply (and calmly) responded with something like, “what do you think you should do?” “How do you think you should do that?”

I was actually letting them be grownups and independent thinkers. Something I really didn’t do up until then because that’s how my programming was from my parents.

These programming issues are generational, which makes sense. People pass on behaviors and traits based on what they know. Dysfunction past on from generation to generation. It would continue until someone stops it.
In my family the buck stops here.

Another thing I did (and here is where a supportive partner and family will hugely benefit you) was to take 30-60 minutes EACH DAY as “me” time. I went to another room (and sometimes out of the house entirely) to spend connecting with myself, identifying and healing those old wounds and childhood traumas.

I know what many of you are going to say or think. “I can’t do that because I have to do x,y, and z.” “I don’t have a spare moment in my day”, etc.
That is fear ruling your thinking. You are unsure you can fulfill your commitment and totally ill at ease with the perceived potential responses from your partner and family.

I get it! I had those same fears and guilt of MAKING time for myself. What should really be pointed out is, it is healthy to put yourself first, it is healthy to place your needs first.

That was a foreign concept to me for a long time. He first few times I did put myself first and made time for me, my thoughts were “I hope they’re not mad at me” or “maybe I will cut my time short because I have to get back to them”.
It took me about four or five times to rid myself of most of that guilt and fear. I gradually got to the place I took an entire day and a few times a weekend to do or go somewhere I wanted by myself. If I went away for a weekend I may include a friend but it was because that’s what I wanted, not something out of obligation.

This phase can be extremely emotional. TO this day I still have moments where emotion comes out at random times.

This is all normal and good! Purging the old, bad, unhealthy behaviors and replace with new, healthy, good vibration energy, behaviors, and feelings.
If done right a VERY “freeing” period! Freeing yourself from the old programming and replacing with new healthy programming.
And getting closer to connecting with the law of attraction.

If you would like more info or a recommendation on resources to use, click on the contact page and drop me a line.                 

What worked for me

What really worked for me was to put full 100% commitment into changing my programming.

I had to place the fear, guilt, and shame into the back of my mind until I could get rid of it completely. I had to not care if I took away from family time or I didn't want to go to dinner or see a movie because I was focused on getting better for the rest of my life.

I was prepared to sacrifice now for the greater good in the future.

My daily routine was 2 meditations ( I switched off between Lisa Romano, Bruce Lipton, Brian Tracy and Manifestation Miracle) once, when I woke up and prior to getting our of bed in the morning. The second was when I was in bed ready for sleep.

The night one is important especially if you're listening before you fall to sleep because that is the period of time your brain is in theta wave condition. Thats where you want it to be to assist in the reprogramming.

The other meditation and other work I did was made up of observation, repetition and consistency, which are the other ways to reprogram your brain.

After the meditations I did my Manifestation Miracle workbook and did more research. I listened to audiobook and videos whenever I could. In my car to/from work, or anytime I was driving somewhere without distractions. 

Another great thing the workbook suggested was to everyday write down three to five things you are grateful for in your life (gratitude).

My list looked like this as an example:

  • I was grateful for my beautiful home.
  • I was grateful for my loving, kind, supportive wife.
  • I was grateful for my family, especially ALL of my kids.
  • I was grateful for all of my dogs who bring me joy.
  • I was grateful for my job because it provided me so many things.

One other practice was your abundance list daily.

  • My home
  • My job
  • My cars
  • Vacations
  • Other material things
Another great practice the workbook suggested was to write down three to five things you were going to do for yourself that day.

My list looked like this:

  • Get a coffee for myself daily.
  • Workout
  • Get one thing for myself everyday such as an article of clothes, fishing lures, golf equipment, etc.
  • Take my dogs for a walk ( Because it brings me happiness and peace)
  • Take 30 minutes alone time while at home
  • Take a relaxing bath (Love that for my sore legs after workouts)
The last thing I did everyday was to envision what my goals were and wrote them down in my journal.

  • I want eternal happiness and joy
  • I want to be the best husband, father, grandfather, son, possible (but in a new healthy way not the old way)
  • I want to have prosperity where I don't have to ever worry about money again.
  • I want to have land and a home in Colorado
  • I want to fish every place I have on my fishing bucket list.
There were more but I wanted to give you an example of things or categories you may want to use if you decide to do the same thing I did and change your programming and also your life.

This was a very emotional but rewarding phase to go through.

The next phase was a repeat of the last part of the first phase. It focused on being you. Doing things you like to do. Going places you like to go. reacquainting yourself with the authentic you.

The second phase also was a lot more of the abundance, gratitude, an things that make you happy lists. The Manifestation Miracle workbook and audios were an awesome guide for this phase.



Breakfast Example

Lunch Example

Dinner Example

My Favorite Paleo Breakfast Recipe

Firecracker Tuna Salad

Rice Stuffed Tomatoes with Enchilada Sauce



1 jalapeno pepper (large, finely minced)
4 scallions (green & white, sliced thin)
1/4 teaspoon mustard powder
3/4 teaspoon aleppo pepper (can substitute crushed red pepper flakes)
1 pinch cayenne pepper
1/2 teaspoon red wine vinegar
2 cans tuna (I like this kind)
black pepper
3 tablespoons mayo (homemade if possible)

Paleo Eggs in Hell
Servings: 2


1 28 oz can diced tomatoes
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 white onion diced
 2 teaspoons red pepper flakes
 1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
 1/2 teaspoon salt
 4 eggs
 Parsley for serving (optional)


1.  In a large cast iron skillet or dutch oven heat 1 tablespoon of olive oil over medium high heat. Sauté the onion until soft about 4 minutes. Stir in the red pepper flakes, salt, and Italian seasoning and stir until fragrant, about 1 minute.

2.  Pour in the tomatoes and bring to a simmer for about 5 minutes. Make 4 divots in the sauce and crack an egg in each. Reduce the heat to low and cover. Cook for 3-5 minutes until the egg whites are set but the yolk is still runny. Sprinkle with parsley and serve.

Rice Stuffed Tomatoes Recipe is healthy, vegetarian, baked tomatoes with brown rice, black beans and easy homemade enchilada sauce, with melted cheese on top.

Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 30 minutes
Total Time: 40 minutes
Yield: 8 servings


1 cup brown rice
4 lbs medium-large tomatoes
14 oz can beans, rinsed & drained
6 oz can tomato paste
1 tbsp organic taco seasoning
1 tsp cumin
1 tiny garlic clove
1 tsp salt
Ground black pepper, to taste
1 small bunch cilantro, finely chopped
4 oz (1 cup) Tex Mex, marble or sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
Cooking spray (I use Misto)


Cook rice as per package instructions. Spray large (9” x 13”) baking dish with cooking spray and set aside.

While rice is cooking, prepare tomatoes. Using sharp (serrated) paring knife, cut tops off (placing in the blender), then middle around the circle (without cutting through the bottom), and scoop out seeds and flesh into the blender. Place tomatoes, facing cut side upright, into previously prepared baking dish.

To the blender, add tomato paste, taco seasoning, cumin, garlic clove, salt and pepper. Process until smooth enchilada sauce forms.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. To the pot with cooked brown rice, add beans, almost all of cilantro, and half of enchilada sauce; mix to combine. Stuff tomatoes as much as you can (over the top), and if you have any leftover stuffing (more likely) mix it with remaining enchilada sauce, and pour in between stuffed tomatoes.

Bake for 30 minutes, sprinkle with cheese and bake for a few more minutes until cheese is melted; sprinkle with remaining cilantro. You can serve warm immediately with a side of meat or falafel, Greek yogurt and whole wheat toast. If you let rice stuffed tomatoes to sit covered for at least an hour, they will be more flavourful and rice will expand even more. But that’s optional.

Store: Refrigerate in an airtight container for up to 4 days.

You can add a pound of pre-browned ground meat to the stuffing, or even shredded cooked chicken.

A Great Resource to Help Cleanse and Reprogram Your Mind. Click Here for More Info